You're not drunk if you can lie on the road without holding on.”

Jupiter police released the March 22nd video of St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa’s DUI arrest today, and although drinking and driving isn't funny, the DUI tests sure as hell are. The best part is La Russa butchering the alphabet. The second best part of this DUI test?
Cop 1: "You know who this is, right?"
Cop 2: "Tommy Lasorda."
Cop 1: "Tony La Russa."
Cop 2: "Oh yeah, I'm sorry, LaRussa."

Classic. Just beautiful.